DRUMMER JOKES 4
These jokes were taken from Web Site of James Morrison
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The Following Are Courtesy Of Brian White Q: What's the difference between a
drummer and a roadie? A Drummer is feeling sick of being treated with scorn and derision, and decided he desperately needs some credibility. So he wanders into a shop and proceed to have the following conversation with the guy behind the counter:
Whilst the following is not a Drummer Joke it is closely related. |
A group of western tourists are on
Safari in the African jungle. The jungle is so thick that they have to travel
on foot - and all the time there is the constant After half a day of this one of the tourists asks what the drumming means. "Rejoice in that sound" says the guide " for if they ever stop a terrible thing will happen. " The tourists press the guide
for more details but he refuses to say more of this terrible thing - it
obviously horrifies him too much to even think about. There was an instant of deathly
silence - and then the guide becomes " When the drums stop - Double Bass solo..." |
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What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Why do drummers have 1/2 ounce more
brains than horses? What do you call someone who hangs
around with musicians? What did the drummer get on his IQ
test? Why do bands have bass players? How can you tell a drummer is walking
behind you? What's the difference between a
drummer and a drum machine? How many drummers does it take to
change a light bulb? Did you hear about the bass player
who locked his keys in the car? Why are orchestra intermissions
limited to 20 minutes? How do you know when a drummer is
knocking at your door? How do you get a drummer to play an
accelerando? I asked my drummer to spell
"Mississippi"... How do you know if a drummer's
platform is level? How do trumpet players park in the
handicap spots? How many drummers does it take to
change a light bulb? What do you call a dozen drummers at
the bottom of the sea? What's the difference between a
drummer and Dr. Scholl's foot pads? In
English: How do you know there's a drummer at
the door? How many drummers does it take to
change a lightbulb? How can you tell a drummer's at the
door? What do you call a drummer that
breaks up with his girlfriend? |
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell." The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist (now there's a trivia question for you), the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man?" "I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother." Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar, I'm such a good salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on." The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one." This first subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your IQ?" "190." So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry. "Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still have two to go." He looks around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The salesman asks him "What's you're IQ?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and the various women in the bar. "Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really scummy looking guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your IQ?" "About 60." "What kind of sticks do you use?" Johnny says to his mom: I want to be a drummer when I grow up! Mom: But Johnny, you can't do both. How can you make a drummer slow down?
#2: How can you make that drummer
stop? What's the last thing a drummer says
in a band? Why is a drum machine better than a
drummer? How is a drum solo like a sneeze? What did the professional drummer say
when he got to his job? |